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Entries about lodging

Food, glorious food.

semi-overcast 29 °C

In 2009, a 47 year old Frenchman Alain "Spiderman" Robert, scaled the Petronas Twin Towers without using ropes or safety gear. He reached the pinnacle after 2 hours, unravelled a Malysian flag and waved to the crowd. He was arrested by police when he re-entered the building on level 88 and was fined RM2,000. It was his 3rd attempt.

PICT0109.jpgI bought a book of useless Malaysian facts. I thought that one was appropriate because I went and saw the towers yesterday. Yeah, yeah, I know, cliche tourist. Maybe it is just my engineering ways, but they are really impressive, no matter how cliche that sounds. So here is the obligatory photo, and if these are only 450m tall, that 800m skypiercer in Dubai must have some good reception.

In other news, the food here is AMAZING! I think half the population of Malaysia is making a living off feeding the other half. Two or three dollars will have you a feast, I kid you not. There is food everywhere. I have made a point of not eating at the typical western outlets, because there is of course maccas and KFC and all those other chains dotted around the place. Then there is a whole bunch of places spilling out on to the street with menus I can't read and photos that look nothing like the food on people's plates. I just point to something that looks OK and they always ask "are you sure?" Well no, of course I'm not sure, I have got no idea what I am ordering but it's only two bucks. Then they sit back laughing and watching because they know my mouth is about to be cremated. My stomach isn't rewarding me for my adventurous taste either. It has told me on more than one occassion "Sam, you have only 30 seconds to find the nearest toilet, your time starts... NOW." Thankfully there is no shortage of public toilets around here and I'm beginning to appreciate the bum cleaners.

Even the supermarket is an adventure. There are a lot of products on the shelves that I haven't seen since I left The Netherlands and the US influence is also obvious. Marmite must have pork in it, because they only have a sample jar on the shelf with a sign saying "available from the non-halal counter." The counter was tucked away in a dirty corner with a seperate register. It reminded me of that ad on tv, where the lady pushes her trolley through the pork aisle to be confronted by all these pigs squealing in their cages. I waited for some people to come through the counter expecting their shirts to be pulled over their heads so no-one could see their faces. Alas, they seemed quite happy with their pork.

I spent an hour in the supermarket and bought three things. I'm pretty sure the CCTV was following my romper stomper head as I would pick up every single item - read it, shake it, smell it - then put it back again. I bought some dried plums which looked safe, until I found out they put hot stuff on them too. And thankyou Victor for pointing out that you can buy dragonfruit at Safeway. You probably pop balloons on little kids at the show too... It tasted like air anyway, with the added benefit of seeds stuck in my teeth. At least it wasn't hot.

One thing I can't understand are the fashion outlets. EVERY single shop has photos of beautiful slim white western women. Given that just about everyone in the shop is Asian, I am not really sure why this is. Maybe it is because most of the girls here are already really skinny. I mean really skinny. I know some anatomy, and many of the girls here are missing some important anatomical features, like muscles. I'm not sure how they even walk, yet they appear otherwise completely healthy. I guess if the shops used photos of slim Asian women, they would have nothing to aspire to. At least now they can dream Michael Jackson style - "maybe if I wear Levi's denim, I will one day be white and blonde too." I don't get it, and I think it is sad.

Anyway, on a four hour bus ride to my new home in Johor Bahru tomorrow. I have seen some of the buses here. I am in for an interesting ride I think. Thanks for the comments, I'll try and post some more photos.

Selamat pagi, Sam.

Posted by The Doctor 09:58 Archived in Malaysia Tagged lodging Comments (3)

Sunway Lagoon

Air Asia, bum cleaners and a junior haircut

semi-overcast 36 °C

So I finally left the country with a case that looked suspiciously like a bomb. That would be fine if I didn't yell out "take a photo with my bomb" in front of security. They let me on the plane anyway after looking inside it.

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I'm not sure how much of a budget Air Asia is actually on, but they don't seem to be able to afford announcements. It was well passed the departure time before anyone got to board, and not a word had been said. Then when we finally got on the plane they started making anouncements, but only to tell us the entertainment system was out of order. I can just hear the pilot's conversation in the cockpit...
"Did you forget the pay tv bill again Tan?"
"Oh crap, forgot the fuel too. No problem, it's downhill the last 1000km anyway, we'll just put it in neutral and float down."
I don't mind that there was no TV, but I really like those maps that show you where you are. I wanted to see Uluru at night. I shouldn't really complain, I was in premium class in my big cushy seat. The back of the plane looked like one of those livestock trucks with all the sheep squashed in. Smelt a bit that way too. Funny what we will do for cheap air travel. I just turned my nose up and disappeared through the wall of oblivion (often called a curtain) at the front of the plane. Thanks Monash.

I could tell you lots of things about my arrival in KL, but lets start at the bottom - toilets. There seems to be a shortage of toilet paper so they have these little jets of water that squirt your bum clean. Turn on a tap and whoosh, straight up your clacker. This is fine, I can handle this, only the jet at the local shopping centre didn't quite reach my butt. Even when I cranked it up to full power it still fell short of the mark. So what do you do when there's no toilet paper - you waddle to the next cubicle. Same problem. I figured that unless everyone was walking around with crusty undies, I must have been doing something wrong. I know, my bum is too wide. So I put my knees together, lifted my legs in the air and wallah, my butt sank into the cleansing power jet. It wasn't a good look, but I blame the tiny asian bums.

This shopping centre is attached to a whopping Sunway Lagoon Hotel and Theme park. It says there is a surf beach, but it looks like a ripple beach to me. This photo is from the carpark, it is like a whole jungle in the middle of a city. And that is not a cable hanging in the middle, it is a massive huge swinging walk bridge!
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I got a haircut today and they gave me two options - RM30 for a senior cut and RM15 for a junior cut (10 - 5 AUD). So I thought, if they will let me have junior prices, I'll take it. What they should have said was "junior means I am going to let my 6 year old daughter cut your hair. Oh, and she will do a really bad job so you are not a tight-arse next time." I did think it was funny when she tried to lower my seat to reach the top of my head - I was already on the floor. Short asians. Anyway, I paid my money after assuring them several times that she had done a marvelous job, went home and shaved my mongrel mop off. It really was that bad.

PICT0102.jpgI don't go to my real home in Johor Bahru until Saturday. So really I have just been walking around getting used to the energy sapping heat and buying stuff. Bought an umbrella (one monsoon deluge too late), a phone, a sim card, a malay dictionary and a dragon fruit. Surely a fruit this good looking must taste baaaad...

I'll save some stories for next time, because this entry is getting long. Please subscribe if you are reading this, I will get more enjoyment out of writing if I know people are reading. Even better, post some comments or send me a message. My number is +6017 8722013 and I don't have any numbers at all, so include your name.

Relaxing on my very quiet Monash funded balcony, Sam.

Posted by The Doctor 23:44 Archived in Malaysia Tagged lodging Comments (7)

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