Air Asia, bum cleaners and a junior haircut
12.01.2010 36 °C
So I finally left the country with a case that looked suspiciously like a bomb. That would be fine if I didn't yell out "take a photo with my bomb" in front of security. They let me on the plane anyway after looking inside it.
I'm not sure how much of a budget Air Asia is actually on, but they don't seem to be able to afford announcements. It was well passed the departure time before anyone got to board, and not a word had been said. Then when we finally got on the plane they started making anouncements, but only to tell us the entertainment system was out of order. I can just hear the pilot's conversation in the cockpit...
"Did you forget the pay tv bill again Tan?"
"Oh crap, forgot the fuel too. No problem, it's downhill the last 1000km anyway, we'll just put it in neutral and float down."
I don't mind that there was no TV, but I really like those maps that show you where you are. I wanted to see Uluru at night. I shouldn't really complain, I was in premium class in my big cushy seat. The back of the plane looked like one of those livestock trucks with all the sheep squashed in. Smelt a bit that way too. Funny what we will do for cheap air travel. I just turned my nose up and disappeared through the wall of oblivion (often called a curtain) at the front of the plane. Thanks Monash.
I could tell you lots of things about my arrival in KL, but lets start at the bottom - toilets. There seems to be a shortage of toilet paper so they have these little jets of water that squirt your bum clean. Turn on a tap and whoosh, straight up your clacker. This is fine, I can handle this, only the jet at the local shopping centre didn't quite reach my butt. Even when I cranked it up to full power it still fell short of the mark. So what do you do when there's no toilet paper - you waddle to the next cubicle. Same problem. I figured that unless everyone was walking around with crusty undies, I must have been doing something wrong. I know, my bum is too wide. So I put my knees together, lifted my legs in the air and wallah, my butt sank into the cleansing power jet. It wasn't a good look, but I blame the tiny asian bums.
This shopping centre is attached to a whopping Sunway Lagoon Hotel and Theme park. It says there is a surf beach, but it looks like a ripple beach to me. This photo is from the carpark, it is like a whole jungle in the middle of a city. And that is not a cable hanging in the middle, it is a massive huge swinging walk bridge!
I got a haircut today and they gave me two options - RM30 for a senior cut and RM15 for a junior cut (10 - 5 AUD). So I thought, if they will let me have junior prices, I'll take it. What they should have said was "junior means I am going to let my 6 year old daughter cut your hair. Oh, and she will do a really bad job so you are not a tight-arse next time." I did think it was funny when she tried to lower my seat to reach the top of my head - I was already on the floor. Short asians. Anyway, I paid my money after assuring them several times that she had done a marvelous job, went home and shaved my mongrel mop off. It really was that bad.
I don't go to my real home in Johor Bahru until Saturday. So really I have just been walking around getting used to the energy sapping heat and buying stuff. Bought an umbrella (one monsoon deluge too late), a phone, a sim card, a malay dictionary and a dragon fruit. Surely a fruit this good looking must taste baaaad...
I'll save some stories for next time, because this entry is getting long. Please subscribe if you are reading this, I will get more enjoyment out of writing if I know people are reading. Even better, post some comments or send me a message. My number is +6017 8722013 and I don't have any numbers at all, so include your name.
Relaxing on my very quiet Monash funded balcony, Sam.